Adoption

It has been a long time coming.

Paperwork, oh the paperwork we have done. I’ve been fingerprinted, filled out essay questions, had my background checked, had a social worker study our home, done interviews, and even had a physical. Throughout the process of adoption Amy and I have been poked and prodded and questioned until the point we questioned ourselves and what we were doing. We worried and fretted over our answers, whether we could get the money in time (still not there!) and occasionally had to reassess if we were making the right decision.

The answer always comes, and its the same; “You are. Proceed.”

We began this journey in earnest starting in the fall of 2011. Amy has always wanted to adopt, and I was quite honestly less than enthusiastic or supportive of the idea. “Well I want to have one of our own first?” Huh? What does that even mean? The words sound so foolish, so ridiculous, so… not me. But, it was me. Amy to her credit, was patient with my hard heart. She waiting for God to soften it, to pour more love in it than was there. He did.

Something began to change in my heart early last year. My unease about adoption started to drip away like ice off the trees under the warm sunshine. God melted the ice on my heart, and out of this thaw came new growth.

In God’s providence Christian Audio gave away a free audio book by Dr. Russell Moore titled “Adopted for Life.” It’s a great book to understand the depth of adoption, and Dr. Moore pulls no punches. He related a story in the book about a couple who sought out Dr. Moore and his wife for counseling about their troubles trying to have children. Dr. Moore asked them if they had considered adoption. He received a response similar to what was in my heart; “Well sure, we’d like to, but we want to have one of our own first.” He then posed this question to them; “Do you want to be parents or conservators of your genetic code?”

Uh oh. Did he just say that?

That question hit me right between the eyes. Do I want to be a parent, or do I want to just be a conservator of my and Amy’s DNA? I want to be a parent! The thaw was coming first and furious. I agreed to begin the adoption process with Amy.

Fast forward through the above mentioned paperwork and interrogation procedures to where we are today. Our paperwork is complete. (Praise GOD!) We are now on a waiting list. Waiting for a child, our child, to come home to us. It’s like pregnancy; we wait with equal parts expectation and frustration and tears for our child. Sometime within the next 9-12 months, Lord willing, we will bring this child home.

Adoption only determines how a child enters a family, not whether that child is a full and complete member of the family.

 

 

 

P.S. It’s also terribly expensive. If you’d like to give towards the costs of adoption, there is a donate button on the right.

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6 thoughts on “Adoption

  1. Hello Nick!

    My name is Amanda and I am inspired by your story. I am excited for you and what you chosen to do with adopting Amy. I notice the Compassion Sponsor a Child Organization as well. Could you give me more details about it?

    • Amanda,

      Compassion sponsors children who have families, but whose families cannot provide certain things. By sponsoring a child through Compassion you make sure they have an education (school isn’t free most other places), medical care, food at school, and they are introduced to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They also have child survival projects where the pressing need is nutrition for mother and child just to live. They’re a great organization that helps children make it to adulthood with an education, nutrition, and best of all having heard of Jesus.

  2. Love the analogy of how your heart was changed. God is so good.
    I do think the quote from Dr. Moore is kind of harsh and impersonal, myself… Although it still seems somewhat selfish, my thoughts on having a child with Mark were more like anticipation of what God would put together from the two of us. Just sayin’. The end result is similar, but definitely more personal.

    • There is context to that quote, for sure. It was not intended as a slight to biological children. The couple in question could not have children without significant and costly medical intervention which is not guaranteed to work. His question was point blank, and meant to make them think about what they were going to do before spending tens of thousands on fertility treatments with an unknown outcome, and adoption.

      Thanks for the comment!

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